Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Basically a Super Hero!!

On an up note... I got a new job and for the first time in a LONG time I feel like I am doing something with my life. Something that means something. Something that will benefit others. I work as a Medical Dispatcher. For people with emergency help buttons that they can push when they need something. I get to talk to them and get them the help that they need. I have heard some awful things and unfortunate things already and I am sure it will only get worse as I work there longer, but it is worth it just knowing that they have someone there to help them. Some of these people are victims of Domestic Violence, or Elderly Abuse, or just people with severe health issues or old age. Sometimes its not always what I want to hear, and I leave down-hearted sometimes. But when you get a call that comes in and you can hear in their voice how grateful they are that they have someone, a link to the outside world. Especially when they had that hurricane and earthquake back east. There were people who were stuck in the dark for days and weeks and we were there only link to anyone. I come home at the end of the night with a roaring headache sometimes but it makes it worth it knowing that at the end of the day I helped someone who really needed it. Its nice feeling like you mean something to someone. And that I really can make a difference in the world.

You can't break a broken heart...

Why is it that we miss the people that hurt us? That we long for those who left us? That the person who seems so right for us, is so wrong for us after all? Why is it that walking away is the hardest thing to do even when the other person is already gone? And how come can a persons words hurt so bad and haunt your every thought? I am trying to beleive in the good of Human kind, but sometimes when the people you care for the most walk out of your life it is so hard to find that silver lining.

There is a silver lining though right? Please, someone tell me it gets easier and that eventually I will stop hearing his last words in the back of my mind all the time... That the longing and feelings of hurt go away. I need to have faith in people again and I need to believe that not every relationship will end in complete and utter crap! I need to get this off my chest and move on. I understand that things happen for a reason and that our Heavenly Father sees the big picture. I just pray that eventually we end up seeing the same picture. The picture that ends with me finally being happy.